LGBTQIA+ RELATIONSHIPS

When You Don’t Recognize Your Straight Privilege Until You Want To Kiss Her in Public

And then you remember how it feels to be queer in the US

Michelle Marie Warner
6 min readJun 4, 2021

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Photo by Tim Samuel on Pexels

If you appear heterosexual, you likely have straight privilege. You don’t have to worry about anyone questioning or judging your sexual orientation. You can walk hand in hand with your girlfriend, boyfriend, lover, or spouse anywhere without a second glance. In most public places, you can kiss your date without a second thought.

I’m a proud member of the LGBTQIA+ community, but you might not have guessed. People can make assumptions because I write a lot about my past relationships with men, and most of my exes are men. I have scant evidence of my attraction to women, gender fluid, or non-binary folks.

Because I’m cisgender, bisexual/pansexual, and single, most people think I’m straight. I don’t know what it’s like to be queer in North America until I’m in a relationship with a lesbian, gender fluid, or trans person. I also forget that I might as well be closeted because I don’t show I’m bisexual unless I’m making romantic gestures toward someone who appears to be a woman. Our perception of gender comes into play here, too.

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Michelle Marie Warner

Grateful, sassy, sober GenX mom with plenty to say and enough energy to listen. Learning to laugh a little more as I age gracefully. Bring it on.