When you know, you know. — If you can read people well, you know if they’re a good fit before you meet or go out on a date. You don’t always know why you know. But you know. And it’s painfully obvious. …

Am I not that lucky after all? — I ran a red light the other day in my hometown of Santa Barbara. A driver turning left braked just in time, avoiding a collision. The Mission Street onramp is a busy intersection, and California drivers have an overall tendency to push forward when given the chance. I know better. …

Pride Month is for me, too — I was in my early 20s (way back in the 1990s) when I told my parents I was bisexual. I don’t remember a particular crush, but must’ve recognized that I liked girls as much as guys by then. We were at a restaurant and I told my mom. …

It’s time to celebrate — now, can I get more than one date? — It’s official: I’m polyamorous. I love knowing I have room in my heart for more than one person. I have yet to put it into practice, but I want my next relationship to be ethically non-monogamous. Polyamory feels natural, which was initially surprising. I’ve always owned monogamy, believing I could…

Let’s start by changing pronouns when we read in meetings — The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous needs an overhaul. The language is outdated and sexist, and despite the claim that atheists are welcome, it reads like a belief in a Christian God is mandatory. I came across an online discussion in 2020 about using gender neutrality in Alcoholics Anonymous literature…

And it’s time to seek help — I try not to read or watch the news, but when I do, it’s increasingly disturbing. We’re a hot mess. Our troubles have caught up with us, and I can’t see the light at the end of the long, dark tunnel yet. I’m concerned about our collective mental health. None…

Perspective changes everything — I used to smoke meth with my boyfriend Nick, who lived in a trailer next to a huge pile of gravel. It was a work yard, with heavy machinery and tractors all around. I was fascinated by the gravel pile. We didn’t see much of the usual industrial yards or…

And I had to get a crown that costs a fortune — Everyone should be able to get affordable dental health care, but it’s unfortunately not a reality for many of us. Getting regular exams, x-rays, and cleanings is an essential part of our overall health. A dental emergency can lead to financial ruin, even with insurance coverage. Those of us who…

Remember you can take back your power anytime — Domesticated cats are a divine paradox — fierce, feisty, yet often gentle, and reliant on us to care for them. They’re one of the most powerful animals I’ve encountered and I’m honored to have one as a pet. I’ve had many cats, and I’ve noticed how much they own their…