And it’s not what you might think. — Do women over age 50 have trouble finding a date because we’re too old? I know it’s BS, but the media can make us seem undesirable after a certain age. …

You probably won’t be fluent in a new language when you sober up — People marvel at my ability to speak nearly fluent Spanish. I’ll bet no one knows the real reason why I sound like I was born in Mexico. I’m exceptionally adept at learning foreign languages. I took classes in college, and I enjoyed it immensely. …

When you know, you know. — If you can read people well, you know if they’re a good fit before you meet or go out on a date. You don’t always know why you know. But you know. And it’s painfully obvious. …

Start by numbing yourself with drugs and alcohol — “It takes a special person to do what you do.” No, it doesn’t. It takes mind-altering substances to work with people who hit, spit, throw shit at you, or rip your shirt off. …

How changing my relationship with money helped me take back my power — One day, your story is going to change. It might hit you without warning, like my recent paradigm shift. You might wake up and remember what Glenda told Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz: “You’ve had the Power all along, my Dear. You just had to learn it for yourself.”…

Because meditating turns me on — Who knew meditation could be sexually satisfying? I used to meditate for up to an hour at a rose garden in my California hometown. One day, I went beyond spiritual enlightenment when I became sexually aroused. I orgasmed while sitting on the lawn amongst tourists and locals walking their dogs. …

Digging deeper will uncover past trauma you’ll need to face — I’m 20 years sober on March 8th, and I can still be such an unrecovered jerk. I spent fifteen years destroying my life, and will continue a lifetime of reconstruction ahead. Getting sober was a worthy beginning, but I’m always learning. I was taking a shower yesterday morning and my…

Or any other day of the year — I have a love-hate relationship with Valentine’s Day. I’m in love with love, and yearn to celebrate with a significant other. I love acknowledging love for another person. Yet I haven’t had a partner in years with whom to share it with. …

You’ve got to start experimenting — Groundhog Day was last Thursday, but for me it could’ve been any day of the week. I decided to watch the 1993 Bill Murray classic because lately I’ve felt like every day is a repeat of the same lessons. Also, I’m a sucker for routine while simultaneously getting mind-numbingly bored…