And it’s not what you might think. — Do women over age 50 have trouble finding a date because we’re too old? I know it’s BS, but the media can make us seem undesirable after a certain age. After spending my 40s and then some without a partner, I was beginning to doubt my ability to find a…

He can come fill me up next: the not-so-secret tale of a drive-by crush. — There’s a new gas station attendant at my local Chevron. His name is Gary*, which is pretty much all I know about him. He’s got dreamy hazel eyes and always breaks into a sexy smile when he’s filling my tank. I can’t tell if he’s flirting or unwittingly looks at…

You probably won’t be fluent in a new language when you sober up — People marvel at my ability to speak nearly fluent Spanish. I’ll bet no one knows the real reason why I sound like I was born in Mexico. I’m exceptionally adept at learning foreign languages. I took classes in college, and I enjoyed it immensely. But that isn’t why I’m so…

When you know, you know. — If you can read people well, you know if they’re a good fit before you meet or go out on a date. You don’t always know why you know. But you know. And it’s painfully obvious. You can try to make them into someone else, but it won’t last for…

It’s easier to stay there than where my lost love doesn’t live — Joaquin looks a little like the guy in the above photo. We’ve been apart for fourteen years, but I’ve never felt closer to anyone. It felt like love at first sight when we met, which I wouldn’t believe existed if it weren’t for him. We needed years of growth and…

How my complicated maternal relationship led to an uncertain future — I remember the first time I was trapped. I was three or four years old. My mother told me to clean my room, then she locked the door behind me. I assume the intent was to keep me in there until I finished. I played on the floor with my…

Most of you won’t read this because it’s too long — There are seventeen gazillion things to read on the internet. We can gobble up information like skittles, with bright colors and sharp flavors to match. In a click, we can discover the mating habits of sloths (we can learn a lot from taking it slow), if our kids’ rash is…

If you’re struggling, you’re doing it right — I begged the Universe to make me a mama. I didn’t wait for the right person, either. I vowed to be a single parent if I didn’t find my partner by menopause. I got pregnant when I was seventeen and my boyfriend was twenty. We thought we loved each other…

Maybe it’s time we talk about it, then work on letting it go — I remember big changes always seemed to happen around my birthday as a child. The first major transition I recall was right before I turned eight, when I went to live with my dad full-time. My birthday is at the end of January, when the days grow shorter and colder…